Reality television continues to prove two disheartening realities about women;
1) There is a great disconnection and disrespect females have with other females.
2) Females are disloyal, ghetto, materialistic, and malicious.
Female to female relationships have enough tension in them besides the media adding to the equation. What’s most disturbing about these portrayals is that the viewers stereotype ALL women as what they see on such television shows as ‘The Housewives of Atlanta,’ ‘The Jersey Shore,’ ‘Love and Hip Hop,’ ‘Basketball Wives,’ and the list, unfortunately, goes on.
The media is making a fortune off the great discord among women. From a personal perspective, I have rarely had strong female relationships with females of my own race. This came at a very early age. Many of the girls in school did not consider me a part of the African-American race because I didn’t fit the generic stereotypes of what an African American girl was supposed to look like. I still find myself, after all of these years, questioning what I’m suppose to look like as an African-American woman because at my age, I still encounter debates – from other women – about what defines a black woman.
Well, flipping channels on television provides a plethora of definitions as to what is acceptable as a woman. These definitions, depending on which channel you’re watching, include: loud at all times, obnoxious to others and to self, a threat to all other women, degrading of other women due to jealousy, materialistic, cynical, fake everything, limited vocabulary that involves the use of the “F” word every sentence, miserable lives, gold diggers out for money, and the behavior as human spectacles at their own demise.
Whew! What painful definitions of women. What is more painful is that men find these portrayals to be guidelines as to how to classify women. I do not want to be classified as any of these women on reality television. Why are there not shows that portray successful women who have overcome the odds as exemplified in reality television? I’ll tell you why, because it’s boring and no want wants to subscribe to ‘good’ television because it’s an impetus for further good and our world would automatically destroy itself if we spoke of ‘good.’
Drama not only rules our narcissistic society, it also makes money for corporations that exploit women of this nature to be even more of an insult to themselves, each other, and society. Our definition of female role model has gone from ‘strong, confident, successful, educated woman’ to ‘bling-bling, tanned, surgically implanted, loud, troubled, and super chick fighter.’ Is this not a disturbing thought?
A conversation with a friend was quite disturbing tonight as he stated that ‘all black women’ are being portrayed negatively in these television shows. I was automatically offended, but most of all, hurt. These television reality shows are not a representation of me as an African-American woman nor will they ever be. First and foremost, regardless as to what you see, I am a woman. Second, having a new television show return to cable each month further pushes innocent women who are not like the stereotypes portrayed on television, further into the disenfranchised mold of exploitation.
I doubt reality television is going anywhere, but as women of color, or just women, we should not be held according to these standards for not all women are set into these false categories. Just as reality television isn’t really reality, black women, and women in general, are not realistically defined by all that is seen on reality television.
